Nothing: A GC Wrap Up

Before we get started, let me state that these are my feelings and my attempt to begin to process what has happened.  They may not be the views of others nor are they endorsed by any church in particular, especially if I use "bad words". :)

(Also, this ends up being a little more rant-y and less "well organized thoughts and feelings" so I apologize for that).

I titled this entry "Nothing" for several reasons.  First, I have so much to say but then again I have nothing to say.  I am hurt.  I am angry.  I am tired.

I bought the idea that love wins.  I bought the idea that the "good guy" always wins.  Ok, I mean I know I am being a little hyperbolic here but I have to admit I thought General Conference would have a different outcome.  I know the story is not over.  It is so fitting that we are heading into the season of Lent where death tries to have the last word but God vanquishes death.  But we have the benefit of being able to flip the page to the victory part.  There has never been a time in our lives where we actually question whether Christ is going to rise on the 3rd day.  We can be as somber as we want during Holy Week but we have the assurance that come Easter, we will hear the Good News.  That is the essence of the gospel.  The disciples didn't have that luxury.  They couldn't fast forward through the yucky parts.  They literally heard Jesus say he was going to rise and they still didn't believe it because they couldn't see it.  And right now, I admit, I can't see it.  I can't see the empty tomb.  All I can see is death.

Now I am sure at least one of you reading this is thinking "omg but the United Methodist Church is not God".  Fair point.  Something about "kings and kingdoms will all pass away..."  And you are right.  There are other churches.  There are other denominations.  But they don't suit me.  Yes, I was born into a Methodist Church and currently work for a Methodist Church and I got my Master of Divinity from a Methodist Seminary but I have looked at other options.  I can't be Presbyterian or Baptist any more than I could magically make myself Miss America.  That is not a dig at our brothers and sisters of other denominations, they just aren't where I connected.  Methodism is my home.  So to my friends saying "[my denomination] will welcome you with open arms!  Come on over!", please save it.  The wounds are too new.  Maybe some of us will change but not right now I will not.

It is a bitter pill to swallow for me personally because of the current political climate.  This may come as a shock to some but I am not a Democrat.  I am a Republican.  Donald Trump and those trying to run with him are not Republicans.  The political party I belong to has been overrun by those who seek to divide, exclude, and judge.  And that is how I feel about the denomination I love.  I know drawing those parallels could be seen as incendiary but hear me out.  I am not calling all Republicans, all Trump supporters, or everyone who voted for the Traditional Plan anything.  It is that their views don't align with mine and until recently I thought they didn't align with most people's views.  I feel homeless politically and in my faith.  And that is hard to accept.

I am sad to see the number of people who today asked for their name to be removed from various UMC membership rosters.  But I don't blame them.  How can we ask abuse victims to stay with their perpetrators?  So many wonderful people have left or are leaving.  Again, I don't blame them.  But I will continue to fight.  I will fight because I am called to pastoral ministry and I want to be colleagues with the best speakers, writers, interpreters, and theologians out there and I'll be damned if believe that someone is or isn't equipped for ministry based on their sexuality.

For whatever reason, we seem to have an unhealthy obsession with human sexuality.  The WCA (conservative "Methodist" group) allows women and divorced people to be in their group; two topics of which Jesus had more to say about than homosexuality.  The hypocrisy is overwhelming.

I will also continue to fight because I believe there is room at God's table for all people.  Full stop.  There is room for me, you, our LGBTQ+ friends, those that voted for the Traditional Plan, airplane clappers, those that talk in theater, and those that are bad tippers.  We do not limit the table.  Why?  Because we believe in grace in all of its forms.  When we do communion, we acknowledge that the table is open for ALL, not just heterosexuals.  How dare we serve as God's gate-keepers?  I think God has that part under control.  God did it for millennia without us, God doesn't need our help in that starting now.  We are not God.  Much like John the Baptist, we are not God.  We simply point others to God.


As I sit at my desk and write, Jason Mraz comes on the radio and I hear these words:

We all make mistakes, no, we're not perfect yet
Maybe God made us all from an accident
And the question that sits on everyone's lips
Is why should we pick ourselves up and start over again

There's only one answer that matters
Even if your heart has been shattered
Whatever you want, whatever you are after
Love is still the answer
Love is still the answer

And all the while I have been reflecting on Romans 8:38-39
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord

And that is truly the Good News.  I don't know all of what is going to happen in light of all the things that happened at General Conference but we have the assurance that nothing will separate us from God.